Keep It Real
The life I wanted was always out of reach and the woman I desired to be was unattainable- the kind of woman who could strip down naked in front of any man and say “leave the lights on” because “look, I have imperfections, but I keep my shit right, and trust me, I know what I’m doing.”
I’m a late bloomer, like a 36 year old virgin finally discovering her sexual prowess. I now realize that the fact that I exist means I am worthy of this life. Also, I’m too old to give a fuck.
I want to live an authentic life. I want to be honest with myself and share my truth with you. What’s true for me may not be true for you, and that’s all good. But in case what’s true for me resonates with you and makes you feel any of the following:
Then go ahead, leave the lights on.
- If I can’t scowl, how will people know I’m disgusted by them? #botoxproblems
- There are 2 reasons people give to charity: to feel less guilty, and to make others feel more guilty.
- I’m down to have kids as long as I can hire somebody to cook, clean, and raise my children.
- It’s ok to hate people as long as you hate yourself too.
- 3 healthy things that get a bad rap: caffeine, red meat, and revenge.
- A pussy drives a Prius.
A slut drives a beetle.
A bitch drives a Mercedes.
A cunt drives a sports car.
I’m a cunt.
- When you see a handsome man married to an unattractive woman, it’s because her pussy is magic.
- Here’s a quick way to lose friends: be honest when they ask you for advice about their relationship.
- I am less patient now than I was at 16. Thank u technology.
- Having kids means I get to be a milf, so that’s worth it.